*(Which by the way have not be produced in this country for civilian consumption since 1986)
SO, let's take it a little further, if it's now gonna be about what you NEED then everybody on the left can start by stepping up to the plate and only having things they NEED and are Govt approved.
Oh what might the future hold?
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Govt Approved cars for single people, no choice of color, or model, you get what you get.
After all, who NEEDS all the flash and fancy stuff, you just NEED to go from point A to B.
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Govt Approved car for married couple, choice of color may cause up a 6 year delay as they are painted in batches, black, white, or red. You may have the vehicle painted any color you prefer once an EPA permit is issued AND the paint on the vehicle is faded or worn to the point one can see metal or rust over more than 75% of the vehicle.
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Govt Approved family car comes in 3 colors (white has been discontinued), safety neon orange, safety neon pink, and safety neon green. Choice of colors while they last however plenty of all 3 available.
Pending legislation to prohibit the use of a married couple car to transport children will pass, so you better hurry trade-in your married for a family car before there is a rush and get your preferred color, remember, It's for the children!
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The US Dept of Defense has issued a statement that effective 6/1/2024 they will be issuing companions for all single personnel who want one. Initial selection will be limited. They can be picked up at any on base Mosque, or ordered thru clothing sales.
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Presidential appointments made to the Motion Picture Counsel
The new Motion Picture Counsel today announced a new prime time show to air following the nightly Presidential address.
LA LA LA Guy will be entertaining millions of viewers across America.
Here are some scenes Comrades Citizens!
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Due to the unjustified world embargo against the US just for needing some time to pay off all that missing gold from the Fed, some industries have suffered a bit in technology.
But like President Obama says, "We are catching up"
THIS YEARS NEW TV MODELS FOR THE MODERN AMERICAN!
The newest floor models
The Classic is still available
And also new for 2024, The Table Top Compact.
Available for purchase to those who show verification of less than 300 sq ft. of living space.
Available for purchase to those who show verification of less than 300 sq ft. of living space.
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In an effort to end loneliness the US Dept of Mental Health and Happiness announced today if single people of any sexual preference had not found a partner by age 26 one would be assigned to them.
The USDMHH further stated initially there might be some problems and glitches in the system, however they are certain since sexual preference is determined in the womb then assigned and cataloged into the database before each is born.
Feeling it shouldn't be to hard to match people up as long as the child raising doctrine for the assigned sexuality was followed by the parents, the USDMHH is confident all should go smoothly.
Feeling it shouldn't be to hard to match people up as long as the child raising doctrine for the assigned sexuality was followed by the parents, the USDMHH is confident all should go smoothly.
For those who apply for and are granted permission for the newly released clone mates program.
Here is what our experts have been "cooking" up for you. All are available immediately upon the clone approving your application.
NOTE: Each comes with a certificate of Citizenship and is a Registered Voter upon issue.
Remember widows and widowers, and single parent homes with small children are eligible for immediate placement of a clone. Clone approval also required.
Remember widows and widowers, and single parent homes with small children are eligible for immediate placement of a clone. Clone approval also required.
New improved models due out in 2034
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LAST DEATH PENALTY CARRIED OUT
The last known cases eligible for the Death Penalty were adjudicated earlier this month at Ft Knox Ky where suspected terrorists Manure Master and Witch Doctor had been confined since their arrest in 2018.
In 2016 the death penalty was outlawed except for firearms possession cases, even then there had to be multiple firearms involved and a Presidential request approved by the Supreme Court.
Manure Master and Witch Doctor were arrested with what was believed to be the last civilian held arsenal in existence.
The trail was held up by numerous appeals by the defendants on the grounds that the Govt was crazy.
At Presidential request to the Supreme Court first granted the use of the archaic style of execution of being pulled apart by horses. Since no horses could be found, 4 Family autos were attached to Manure Master after 3 attempts and no results from the powerful 1hp air cooled engines in the autos Manure Master was laughing so hysterically he had to hospitalized for 2 days, and both executions were postponed.
Both Manure Master and Witch Doctor requested a firing squad, however since all firearms have been outlawed since 2020 none could be found.
The Supreme Court granted Manure Master a rare audience to heard on the matter thinking he was going to repent and beg for mercy which a majority of Justices said they were inclined to grant.
However, once in front of the Justices Manure Master called them all Communists and it was sure he was going to flatter his way out of his sentence. Manure Master carried on for quite some time most of what he said has been classified under the Hurtful Verbiage Act of 2020 and cannot be released.
Finally Manure Master and Witch Doctor asked to be locked in a cell together and provided with 2 gallons each of Bushnell's Irish Whiskey and Wild Turkey 101 and they would take care of the problem for the court. It is rumored that the prison guards had to make 3 addition trips out for more whiskey before the task was completed.
It is rumored they were last heard signing an archaic old song about a Star Spangled Flag of some sort.
Manure Master's last words are said to have been "Fuck you, you fucking fucks" whereas Witch Doctor just said "What a bunch of pussies"
Below are the pictures of the arsenal they were captured with that authorities felt they were about to use against the public.
WARNING: NOT FOR VIEWING BY ANYONE UNDER 30 YEARS OF AGE
Harmful Images Act of 2019
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Love the last part especially brother. Fucking Pussies better be bringing a shit load of Bushnell's and the Wild Turkey 101. If they think the debt is big now wait till we start drinking.
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